Last year

I made up my mind to make no resolutions just plans that could be changed if the need arose. Oh boy did the need ever arise. I've happily let go of the negatives that seemed to dog our heels last year so I won't go into them. They are finished with, done. And I've taken what I could from them.

This year, I'm making a few other plans and keeping some of the plans from last year. I took advantage of the public Yule ritual to plant some of the ideas that had been floating in my head since Samhain. I've found this year that for Samhain it is best for me to look backwards to see what I've learned and where I need to grow and to look forwards with a little divination to help clarify where I'd like to go. The time between Samhain and this Yule was used to contemplate what I want to work on for the coming year. It makes sense to me and so I'm going with it. My intentions for the coming year are heavy on welcoming in the positive, heavy on creativity and heavy on getting myself organized.

That last one's going to be a toughie. I'm challenged in the area of organization, I start out meaning well and then things tend to slip and pile up and before I know it everything has gone out the window. This year I intend to keep at it and I have my orange spell sitting in my kitchen window to help remind me.

Holiday let down

not the kind where you look at everything around you and feel like nothing measures up to what you had expected or the kind the kind where someone totally makes the holidays a downer but where it's all over and done with and the suggestion of lounging on the couch in a semi comatose state is so very inviting that you collapse there before the thought is finished.

This was our first Christmas with no immediate family since before the Peanut was born. That is itself was both a relief (no need to run from point A to point B back to point A and B then on to points C,D,E,F, and so on) and a disappointment (missing the looks on faces when they opened up the gifts we lovingly made/chose for family), Now that it's all over, gifts unwrapped and put away, new toys scattered across the carpet, left overs taking up refrigerator space all I really feel like doing is napping. Well napping and getting started on some new projects...


I hope all of your holidays were as pleasant as ours, that there was plenty nog in your eggs, the lights shone brightly and if you have children around that the giggles and gasps were contagious.

A Thousand Words

Like trying to catch water in a lace hanky

the days are rushing by.

Last week was a little slower for us as far as doing family things together.

We had good friends over for a play date /cookie making party
We went to the library and were fortunate enough to snag How the Grinch Stole Christmas
We made popcorn and cereal strings and hung them on the tree outside for the birds to eat (unfortunately we're in Monsoon season here in Vancouver so they quickly became soggy strings)
I went to the public Yule ritual

My brother made a surprise stop for a few days and we took him to Bright Nights in Stanley Park. It was the absolute wettest trip to the train we have ever experienced, Our luck with good weather for train rides is usually fantastic, this time not as much but it wasn't cold and we did get to see "our" Santa. We've been going to see this Santa since the Peanut was 5 months old, he's the same Santa every year and that helped with getting Peanut to feel comfortable enough to sit on his lap for the very first time. We took our second family photo with Santa and were pleased to donate to the Burn Victim fund.

The train itself was beautiful again this year.

my first

public ritual that wasn't for Samhain was this past weekend. I tend to hold myself back in new situations so that I can get a feel for the people and test the waters so during the ritual I did what felt right for me (which is of course, exactly what should be done in any sacred space) and watched mostly and moved when I was comfortable (which was very little). Watching the joyful and energetic dancing of some of the other participants was enough for me.

The difference between the larger Samhain ritual and this smaller Yule ritual were first noticeable in the size of the gathering and the intimacy of the space and then there was the emphasis on spell work, which could not be easily done in a large gathering like Samhain. Planting our intentions for the coming year and releasing any outgrown or negative influences to make room for the new.

I was pleased to see my holly poppet consumed by the sacred flame in seconds, releasing all the energy that has made this passed year challenging felt good. I am now ready to face what this coming year has in store for me without the baggage of all that happened last year beyond what I've learned from them. I have my intention spell sitting in my kitchen window to remind me of where I want to put my energies this year, I think that I will keep it there until I have seen those intentions come to fruition and use it as an offering for next Yule's personal ritual.

Everyone brought something for the Stone Soup and at the end of the evening we shared a meal and exchanged gifts. All in all I found the experience to be an excellent reminder that this time of year is a time for slowing down. Our plan for the rebirth of the sun tomorrow morning is a simple welcoming ceremony that will include a mini dance party at sunrise featuring "Here Comes The Sun"

How do you welcome the sun's return?

The giving's the thing

This is why I have tried to stay away from the whole shopping thing if at all possible:

One of my fondest memories is of the year that we made candles for the holidays to give as gifts.

It was after my Dad's first heart attack. Money was tight. The fact that money was tight registered with my sister and I on some level (I can remember consciously making decisions not to ask for too much during that time) but really, all we were thinking about that year was how much fun it was as a family to make those candles and how proud we were to present them to our friends and family. I can remember feeling a little sad that we weren't doing the same thing again the next year.

Looking back on my childhood, I remember the avarice I felt as winter approached, the thought I would put into each gift request from Santa. Looking back, all my presents from over the years are a blur. With few exceptions, I can't put gifts to dates. I can't recall what I got for christmas the year we made the candles (I know that I loved whatever it was I got but I couldn't tell you what it was). When I think of christmas now I think of those candles, that's what I want to give to the peanut each year time as a family and the practice of giving of ourselves instead of giving loads and loads of things.

Despite what I've mentioned here before about avoiding malls and giant box stores at this time of year, I've had to spend some time there. We are still abiding by our decision to buy vintage and handmade wherever possible but there are those things that are better and more affordable if purchased new and mass produced, socks and underwear for instance.

So the Peanut and I spent one good day traipsing through our local mall and just thinking about it has my tummy in knots and my blood pressure rising and my brain figuring out the best way to avoid this next year, because I never want to have to deal with the crazy frantic shopping people again.

The longer I spent there the more stress I started to feel, the more the idea that I hadn't gotten enough for the husband crept in and I started to notice that I was looking, to buy more more more and feeling guilty each time I stopped mid-purchase and thought about if it was worth it.

The gifts I've picked out for him are small, but they are things that he will find useful and hopefully fun. Unfortunately his stocking may look a little deflated this year and each time I think about that flat stocking I have to squash the urge to go out and spend spend spend some more.

This year I've really been thinking about what I want this season to mean to me and to the husband and Peanut. She's already on the I Want Train, any reference to anything toy related brings on a flurry of statements that go something like:

Can we think about (insert item here for example: that whole bookstore) for christmas eve? How about we think of (insert item here for example: that robot truck) for christmas eve? Do you think that I could think about (insert item here for example: that huge giant dinosaur) for christmas eve? Can I? Can I? Can I?

Teaching her that is going to be our next big challenge over the next year. Are you feeling the push to go overboard with the gifts too?

A thousand Words

City sidewalks, busy side walks dressed in holiday style.... or at least the large crane is ...