Showing posts with label art anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art anxiety. Show all posts

Friday, November 16, 2012

Deep Deep Breaths or There's nothing quite as exhilerating as jumping in with very little prep

Oh boy; so I went and gone and done it.


An assortment of snowflake ornaments
The Peanut's school's PAC sent home a request for items for a silent auction that they hold as a fundraiser every year. Last year the husband and I attended the event for a short hour and a half before heading downtown to see The Watchmen (one of our all time favourite Canadian rock bands) perform at a grey cup party. While we were there, we bought the Peanut's art pieces that she made for the sale and also a few other gifts for family and friends. This year we have no other obligations and are excited to be there all night long.

The Bean's Peacock ornament I made for her last year
I've been playing with the idea of approaching them next year to have a table at the sale. It's well attended and the people who attend are there to spend some money, it's a fund raiser after all and also an amazing place to get holiday shopping done and dealt with. So I thought to get my feet wet I'd dip a toe in and offer a set of three ornaments for their silent auction and perhaps inquire about setting up a table for the following year. They replied with an invitation to set up a table this year and now I'm awash in excitement and panic in equal measure.

This Year's ornaments for the girls; the first of as many
as I can put together over the next few weeks
We have about 60 finished ornaments sitting in boxes that can be sold right away and about 60 more that can be soldered if need be. Is that enough? should I include other things? The Peacocks I created last year? I have 5 of them in various states of finished; read all done to still needing a first coat of paint. The felt trees I've been making this year? I can make about 3 or four a day if I don't embellish them with stitchery and beads.

What do I have on hand to display with? What do I need still? What should I build my banner with? Should I have one? Should I price individually or use signage since all my ornaments are the same price across the board? A Float how much change should I have on hand? Packaging, business cards, mailing list, artist bio..... on top of keeping up with the laundry, feeding the family and making sure the Peanut is picked up from school and the Bean isn't drawing on the couch with permanent marker (true story) and also dealing with her recent habit of getting up at 4, 4:30 and 5AM. I have one pretty full plate.

One of my intentions for this coming year is to take any reasonable opportunity and keep up any momentum that builds so that I keep moving forward. I could have politely declined the offer of the table. I could have stepped back and made plans for next year instead. Instead I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and accepted. I've been reading up on doing shows, I've got a list of display items I'd love to be able to put to use, some that I can only dream of and others that I have on hand and or can put together simply and elegantly (I hope).

So the roller coaster is starting up that first big hill, the trick will be to keep those cars on track after that first hill. Any good advice out there?


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Trying Something New

A Painting the Peanut & I did together
can be daunting. Especially when you go from working in a medium that you have become so comfortable working in, that the process is mostly a focus on bringing about your vision instead of learning the aspects of that medium and how to work within the medium to get the finished product that is in your minds eye.

For example changing your drawing medium from pen and ink to brush and ink. With pen and ink you draw using lines, crosshatching or scribbles for building up your shadows. After a certain amount of time you don't really think about where your pen tip is going how your marks are being made you just look at your subject and draw, or int he case of drawing from your head you just draw. If one day you decide to try something different and pull out a bamboo brush and a jar of india ink the process of drawing becomes a little more about using that medium instead of the medium as a means to an end. With ink and brush you start with light washes, working from light to dark, it's a slower process, the ink dries in a specific way and the look of the sketch is softer. if you are working wet into wet you get unexpected blends and unexpected hard lines where the wet areas have dried. The process becomes focused on the medium and you start to look at your subject differently. When that happens there's growth in your art.

Snapshot from my phone
Of course one of the daunting aspects is that what you're making isn't going to be perfect, that there are going to be less than ideal and unpredictable outcomes. The trick is to use the newness of the medium to let go of the finished project. Make the process the goal instead of the final piece; at least until you've gotten to really really know the medium. Of course that's not as easy as it sounds when you put it down in words. Creating something be it a drawing, a photograph, painting or sculpting is a personal thing. Becoming invested in what you are creating is inevitable. there's the time invested, the money that goes into buying the materials, the imagination and the effort. All those things put together make it almost impossible to give up control, to relinquish the desire to put what is being worked on up on a pedestal. A good friend just posted about this very thing on her blog. She put is so perfectly that I felt I had to address the same subject here.

Why? well because I made a decision at the end of last year that I was going to reintroduce myself to the basics of creating. You know, in between dealing with a busy Bean and a precocious Peanut. It's not always easy but to motivate me I've started following the Sketchbook Challenge and I've started photographing on a daily basis with an iphone. (getting past the camera has to be a camera mindset helps a little. My camera snobbery was holding me back, especially when I was worried about braining the Bean with my heavy SLR when she'd need to be picked up.) I'm more prolific with the camera right now but that's not what's important. What is important is that I'm making time to create and the process is more important than the final outcome.
Doodles from my sketchbook a la
The Sketchbook Challenge


Giving myself permission to make mistakes, push past them and go too far, to reign it back in and push too far again to go so far that there's no turning back, no fixing it. To let go. It seems like taking advantage of that permission is the greatest challenge. So what about you? do you sometimes find that you are holding on too tightly to what you're creating that you aren't letting it grow? I remember a drawing class where after a set amount of time we stood up moved to the next space and continued on the drawing that our neighbor had just left... I still cringe at the thought of letting go of my ownership of that piece of paper...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My weekend

was a little more stressful than I'd like. Not that I didn't enjoy it. Anxiety crept in early Friday with the realization that I am going to need a new camera body soon. My beloved Canon 10D is starting to wear down. I get random error99 messages and the shutter release is slowing down so I get over exposed images or images that just aren't registering at all. Luckily the photography supplier I deal with, Beau Photo has a great used section, they have a Canon 20D body that I'm going to go look at today. Fingers crossed that the older lenses I'm taking in can be used towards the body.

Our car is sitting in it's parking spot and hasn't moved since Wednesday when it refused to move any further after a nice loud clunking sound. Fortunately there is a garage 4 blocks up from us and the problem is a simple one.

Since the fire in our building last month we've been gushing money in all directions. From replacing groceries, dry-cleaning and laundry service and the mountain of laundry detergent that we used ourselves it's been a little tight here. The camera and the car are just adding to that drain.

So with these things in mind I decided that we could forgo tickets to the Seattle Depeche Mode show this summer. This is a little disappointing for me, I love Depeche Mode and their live shows are always phenomenal. They haven't added a show in Vancouver this time around which means that if I want to see them I have to travel. TicketMaster's legalized scalping website makes going to see them insanely expensive and nearly impossible so I'm sucking it up and waiting for the box set for the new album to come out and possible the DVD of the concert from somewhere far far away from here say Berlin or somewhere in South America.

the first shots from my new camera body
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