Osmosis

Sometimes when I read a really well written book (and there have been a lot of those over the last six or so months) I get so caught up in the experiences of the characters that I will identify very strongly with the characters. Sometimes if the story is one that I can really identify with, there can be confusion about whether I'm remembering feeling something that I've read about, or something I've done. Not often, but sometimes.

One thing that I've noticed over the last year or so is that I'm a big old sponge for soaking up the residual emotions of the people around me. Anger, depression, anxiety... it all seems to flow right into my frame of mind like water into a cup.

The trick is to know when it's happening, separate myself from the outside emotions as much as possible and keep on keeping on.

It's not easy. Hell no, it is so not easy. It's not easy because on top of that, I need to be there to give my support to those people in my life whom I love.  I've got to be there to listen to their bad days and hurts and frustrations. Not only do I have to be there, I want to be there, I need to be there. I love my husband and he deserves and needs my emotional support. I love my daughters and I need and want to give them my emotional support.

So where am I going with this? I needed to get it out, put it down so that it isn't so tied up inside me that I'm not sure where my anger, depression, anxiety starts (if it starts at all) and where the other begins. Things have been a bit (and when I say "a bit" I'm understating the case) tense around here lately and I've been writhing with the possibility that post partum depression is trying to set down some roots. And I'm breathing, deep deep breaths, reminding my self to eat, getting (well, as much as I can with an almost crawling teething baby) enough sleep and double checking with myself about how I'm feeling and how everyone around me is feeling.

And this is where I end this post.

I went to a fancy dress up party of Saturday night

which is something I never get to do on a regular basis. My husband plays Bass, he's in a band that plays together pretty regularly, he's made some terrific friends out of it and that's saying something. Both of us are fairly introverted. At parties I tend to lurk in the backgrounds not sure what to do or say, especially where I don't know a lot of people plus since the addition of the peanut to the family I never know what to do with myself when she's not around, especially if I'm in a gathering full of people I don't really know all that well.

The odds were high for this party that I'd probably end up doing the same and I'm proud to say that I only did the wallflower thing about halfway through the evening. I bought a new dress from for the night and gussied myself up as best I could and tried to picture myself as a bubbly witty person surrounded by admiring people who couldn't wait to find out who I was and fortunately the guests of honour are super friendly and super extroverted and the people I did know took the time to chat when I approached them. Once the band started to play though the wall flower in me came out and I hung out in the corner and watched my husband be a rock star with his cross-dressing band mates.

While we're on the subject of sharing, here are two more blogs that I think should garner a read from you; plus a really exciting give-away from a blog I've just started to follow:



mikiepillustrations has a fabulous shop on Etsy full of the juiciest and most adorable illustrations, eerie photographs of cupie dolls, sculpture, ACEO's and other cool stuff that I can't take my eyes away from my screen because I want to take it all in.

Right now Mikiep is having "The Mother of All Give-A-Ways. It's soo good in fact that I don't want anyone else to enter so that the odds are higher in my favour to win it.... Nah, that's not very fair of me, go now and see how to win what could possibly described as the best prize in the history of blog prizes ever; a custom illustration featuring you as your most favourite superhero in a childhood memory that you treasure the most.



All Things Tangled is always good for a fun read. Joan is a magician who creates things with yarn, hence the reference to things tangled. Her posts are shore and sweet and full of references to her knitting projects and of course which books she's been reading. The latest, We'll Always have Parrots sounds so good I'm going to go look it up at my local library.

cabin + cub is another of my favourites. Valerie is a fellow Vancouverite who regularly posts about herself, or stories she has hear supported by her fanciful retro inspired collage works. In addition cabin + cub also includes posts illustrated with her beautiful photographs. My favourite from this week is her post on the fuzzy donkeys she and her husband saw on the way home from berry picking.

Today is the Peanut's 3rd birthday, and I think it's time for some cake and a big crumb and frosting filled hug and kiss.